Expendables 2: Can't Beat The Classics

Is it going to win an Oscar? Hell No. Will Stallone get that SAG award he's been dreaming of? Not a chance. Is this an enjoyable action film that keeps the excitement moving from scene to scene while producing genuine laughs as you scream, "It's the muscles from Brussels" at the screen? You bet his sweet buns it is.

The second installment of the Expendables franchise is missing a lot- critically acclaimed actors, sweeping landscape shots, slow motion walking, meaningful soliloquies, but in what it lacks there one finds a mighty treasure... genuine nostalgia. Expendables 2 does its audience the pleasure of bringing back their favorite 80s and 90s and current action stars while placing them in impossible situations that they always manage to fight their way through.

It's oddly refreshing to watch a trailer and receive exactly what it promises to deliver. Expendables 2 isn't meant to be epic, not many films are, and nor does it try to be; however it excels at doing what most franchise reboots and sequels fail at: having fun.

Overall it's a good time played to a rocking soundtrack and where else in this time are we going to be able to say, "is that Chuck Norris coming out of the fog in this abandoned Albanian town?"...

The Bourne Legacy- Spy vs Spy?

The Bourne Legacy attempts to catch us up to six weeks after the havoc Jason Bourne stirs around in The Bourne Ultimatum, by introducing us to Aaron Cross (played by Jeremy Renner)- a slightly different kind of super spy who relies on regimented genetic drug enhancements to make him faster, stronger, and yes, even smarter. The only trouble with this is Aaron Cross has to wrestle with the ghost of Jason Bourne and the direction in this movie doesn't make it easy (it also doesn't help to mention Jason Bourne's name literally every two minutes within the first hour of the film).

Immediately, the audience is subjected to the usual tactless "Bourne" trademarks: vomit inducing hand held cameras, fast paced string music that indicates when one should become excited, constant running so that each chase scene becomes more mundane than ever thought possible, the scene in the bathroom where the hero and the damsel make meaningful eye contact, and frequent cuts back to the frantic CIA agents who always try to track their man but unfortunately fall one step behind him. 

But as long as the main protagonist has an interesting story line (i.e. forgetting ones memory and painfully coming to the realization that the patriotic work you do may not be completely on the level) then things should remain engaging right? Exactly, and that's why it's a little hard to empathize with Aaron Cross when he's crossing the country and risking his and Rachel Weisz' life to get more of drugs that make him super awesome.

All complaining aside, on it's own, The Bourne Legacy is an average to good action movie. It is proficiently filmed, has interesting locations, the fight scenes are choreographed well (when you can catch them between camera movements), and the acting is pulled off with ease. However, when attempting to expand a franchise without its most familiar face, one can't help but ask the question: what was the point?

Paranorman- Abnormally Refreshing

Paranorman is a quirky yet simple tale about Norman Babcock, a misunderstood young boy who doesn't quite fit in- even with his family. But he soon discovers that his unique ability, to converse with the dead, is the only key to fighting a centuries old malevolent curse that threatens his small town.

Co-directors Butler and Fell prove that heart and soul, mixed with the collective passion of an army like crew, can create a visually stunning and entertaining unconventional film. Frame by frame, their painstaking efforts are obvious from every hair, toenail, expression, camera move, zombie, tree, set, scene and more.

The audience laughed, they cried (maybe that was just me), but most of all they were given the opportunity to genuinely feel as Paranorman effortlessly taps into the little freak in all of us.

Total Recall- No thanks, I Prefer Forgetting

What's in a name? Apparently nothing because after seeing the Len Wiseman remake of Total Recall, it is clear he and his producers gave no thought to how to make this film great. It seems this day in age, that with competent actors and more than lovely CGI/digital effects, that all that's left to do is write a story filled with depth and passion- unfortunately this is something that Total Recall lacks.

After viewing this two hour Kate Beckinsale acting reel (seriously, why was there so much of her face?!?!), it didn't even seem worth the effort to review a B movie that Hollywood so obviously and haphazardly mashed together. However, after a long walk home it was decided that, while unpleasant to do, it is necessary to express ones growing disappointment in the dressed up schlock "directors" insist on pumping out year after year.

I am disappointed. I assume Philip K. Dick would be as well, although being the paranoid man he was... he probably saw this coming.